Today is kind of a sad day for me. It's the last day that I shall be the official holder of the highly coveted "Moretti Family Award for Academic Expedience." On Memorial Day, I will have to hand over the kickass family trophy to my successor (and now enemy *shakes fist*).
The Moretti Family Award for Academic Expedience was created about 5 years ago by my oldest cousin, Sage. It was started because members of my family have a notoriously poor track record of graduating college in four years, straight our of high school. My dad, for example, attended 4 different colleges before getting a degree. My uncle took an extra 2 years when he changed majors half way though. My other uncle decided to go to North Dakota and wrestle wolves for a few years in lieu of graduating (literally). In fact, the award was invented because my cousin Adrienne was the first person in my family to ever complete the feat of graduating in a timely fashion. I was the second ever recipient (jointly w/ paul.)
Now my cousin Jeff gets it, as an official Cornell graduate, and I have to pass it on. I will miss the trophy a lot. It was cool to have for 2 years though. Paul and I were joking that any future offspring we have will just be a design to get our hands back on the trophy again. Their whole life, upbringing, and education would all be part of our grand plan to regain possession of the cup. Sorry future child!
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