Assorted Sorting

I hope that everybody had a wonderful holiday! I've been lucky enough to get some time off this week, which has been great for getting a chance to catch up on housework. This Christmas, I've given myself the gift of organization. Hooray for cleaned out drawers!

This Festive Time of Year

Last night, I once again watched my favorite Christmas Classic- The 1951 version of "A Christmas Carol" starring Alistair Sims. I know I've written about my love of this film on my blog before. Re-watching it this year though, it struck me quite keenly how relevant the mindset of the pre-salvation Scrooge is to the current political discourse.

The vitriol against the poor- that they take advantage of the system, that they don't work hard enough bears a notable resemblance to the attitude of the literature's most famous Miser.


"At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,'' said the gentleman, taking up a pen, ``it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.''
"Are there no prisons?'' asked Scrooge.
"Plenty of prisons,'' said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.
"And the Union workhouses?'' demanded Scrooge. ``Are they still in operation?''
"They are. Still,'' returned the gentleman, `` I wish I could say they were not.''
"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?'' said Scrooge.
"Both very busy, sir.''
"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,'' said Scrooge. ``I'm very glad to hear it.''
"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,'' returned the gentleman, ``a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?''
"Nothing!'' Scrooge replied.
"You wish to be anonymous?''
"I wish to be left alone,'' said Scrooge. ``Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there.''
"Many can't go there; and many would rather die.''
"If they would rather die,'' said Scrooge, ``they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." - Dickens, A Christmas Carol, Stave 1

I'm handing you no blarney.

Did you have a favorite Christmas song when you were growing up? I did, and it's a little unusual...



I blame/thank it for single-handedly inspiring the obsession with Celtic music that I went through in Middle School.

I'm also only really partial to this version by Dennis Day, a second generation Irish immigrant (born Owen Patrick Eugene McNulty - talk about switching it up with your stage name!). The vocals are nice and casual and gentle, and the instrumentals are the best. Go ahead and shop around, I doubt you'll find a preferable Irish-inspired holiday tune!

Attention Naughty Listees!

Tonight is the spooky celebration of Krampusnacht!

 That is, the night that Santa's evil demon companion terrorizes small children and punishes them for their various misdeeds. It's a tradition grown from alpine folk lore, where the castigation of bad kids takes equal air time with the reward of St. Nick's gift giving during the holidays.

This involves having a creepy cloven hoofed monster loitering nearby as children sit on Santa's knee, waiting to do the dirty work of scooping the naughty ones into his barrel backpack. Then comes the beating with birch swatches and rusty chains, and the dragging you away to hell business. Watch the F out! Krampus doesn't dick around.

More and more, Krampusnacht is also becoming a night for drunken revelry, as adults adopt the guise of the demonic holiday helper and boozily parade through the town at night; no doubt frightening all the children in their wake into good behavior and inspiring hope that Santa's the one coming down your chimney.

 Muahahaha...Enjoy all! I think I'll pick up some beer with a spooky label tonight to celebrate.

He's too much!

"The Year without a Santa Claus" - 1974 is one of the most beloved Rankin-Bass holiday stop motion animation cartoons. Perhaps it's not quite as ubiquitous as "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" - 1964, but it's characters are definitely more popular- Namely, the Miser Brothers.

Afterall, Yukon Cornelius and that elf who wants to be a dentist don't have people making awkward tribute videos of them, do they?

I'm not sure which one I like better. The dour pre-teen Snow Miser has better special effects, but the Heat Miser Dad has way better dance moves!

A Scarf for Mom

I made my mom this scarf from that pretty purple wool I showed off earlier. It was a Christmas present that I hope will keep her warm through the rest of our long northern winter.

It's kind of hard to see in detail (and the other pictures I took were even worse!), but I made the scarf from  this pattern, courtesy of Knittingonthenet's informative stitch library. It's called the "Little Pyramid" stitch.

It's a deceptively easy stitch, with just 3 variations of knitting and purling to remember. It looks fancy though, so it impresses people even though it's not that hard.

The name of the stitch combined with fleecy yarn just made me think of this song the whole time I was working on it.



Clue me in.

Santa's Suprise - 1947

Santa brings toys to an improbable number of children on Christmas night, but does anybody stop to think about what Santa gets for Christmas? That's the premise of the mind-boggling holiday cartoon. Children from all around the world stow away on Santa's sleigh, and discover upon arrival at the North Pole that Santa is a lazy, lonely slob. This apparently takes place in a reality where there's no Mrs. Claus, which causes Santa to go crazy with loneliness and sing constantly, talk to himself in mirrors, and let his house get hoarders-level nasty.The international children, led by the horrible "lil' Audrey" band together to give Santa a nice holiday and clean his house.

This cartoon is the most racist thing I've ever seen. The children each "do what they do best" to help Santa, and at that point the stereotypes just careen out of control. The Black kid shines his boots, the Asian kid does his laundry, and the Dutch kid is stupid and terrible at everything. The cumulative effect will blow your mind.



@ 7:00 - I guess the surprise was getting dropped from 10 feet onto his spines! Good Job, Dutchy.

The weirdest part is that this cartoon was probably meant to be PC at the time, and inclusive of all races. Too bad the 40's were just terrible at cultural sensitivity.

Merry Christmas!

Pluto's Christmas Tree - 1952

 This Christmas themed Disney cartoon features Chip and Dale in their feral, pre-Rescue Ranger days. Poor Pluto gets a Wiley Coyote-esque raw deal as he attempts to evict the chipmunks from his beautiful tree.

This one reminds me of a story my dad (a Nursery Manager) told about a customer he had at work, who would always vigorously shake his trees before buying them. Why? One time he bought a tree that turned out to have "monkeys" in it, and the monkeys came out and bit him. The perils of buying live flora!



@2:20 - This has forever fueled my desire to be able to walk around inside a giant Christmas tree

And for the heck of it, here's our Christmas Tree:

Almost as nice as Mickey Mouse's.

Bark Bark Bark

Growing up at my house, it was practically a tradition to play this song for the family pooch around the holidays. Its a fairly certain method to make your dog go nuts. Particularly in years where we had a new puppy, playing this song was a pretty fun game. Most dogs become delightfully confused and frantic at the disembodied sound of their wassailing kin.



I guess the barking dog jingle bells isn't everybody's cup of tea though. This song (a 1950's Danish recording) was recently found to be "America's least loved Christmas Song," as it came in last place in a survey of 579 recordings. However, the focus group used to create the ranking consisted of "200 women aged 30 to 49, recruited via e-mail, who said that they either liked or loved Christmas music," and that sounds like a cat-lady hot bed to me. I think perhaps there was an anti-pooch prejudice afoot!



I bet if this was in the mix it would have been found to be THE NUMBER ONE XMAS SONG OF ALL TIME!!!

Riley vs. Santa

Sometimes special Christmas episodes of TV shows come out overly saccharine and sentimental. The Season 1 Christmas episode of The Boondocks does not have this problem. Instead of our 8-year-old protagonist Riley sitting on Santa's lap, we see him chucking a chair at old Saint Nick.



As "The Santa Stalker," Riley seeks compensation for all the Christmas' he's spent with no gifts from the Jolly old elf. It's a tough reminder that while Santa is a fun holiday icon, his existence is a hard pill to swallow for poor kids who don't have much to open on Christmas morning. These scenes also help you remember that Riley is a kid, who wants to trust and believe in the myth of Santa, even though he is kind of a violent yob.

This is one of my favorite episodes, particularly when the self-hating Uncle Ruckus takes over the Santa gig. It's a got just the right amount of consumerism critique (ala Charlie Brown) cut in with a very honest analysis of the holiday spirit.



Whoa, whoa, hold up...

A Christmas Carol - 1951

This story of the meanest man in town who awakens to the power of kindness is considered a staple of the holiday media diet. When it comes to picking a film adaptation of Dickens 1843 classic, you have a lot of options to choose from. And once somebody picks their chosen rendition of the tale, most people are vehement about defending their film as the one true to their version of the story.

The film I grew up with (and thus the one I consider to be the quintessential, true classic) is the 1951 version starring Alastair Sims as the cold-hearted miser Scrooge.


I think that Sims himself is a huge part about why this version is so wonderful. When Scrooge is reawakened on Christmas Morning, you can really feel his manic joy. In this scene, you believe in Scrooge's transformation, and I don't think any other actor has ever really owned this performance like he did here.



This version is also a fantastic period peice, from top to bottom, and I really think it's the "A Christmas Carol" that stays truest to Dickens' original text. All the witty little 1840's jokes are kept intact, and are still funny and understandable. And this film really delves into the complex relationship between Scrooge, his sister and his nephew, which I think is a key to understanding the miser.

Want more proof this version is awesome? A woman whose name is actually Hermione stars as Bob Cratchet's wife!

But like I said, everybody has their own version of the story that they like best, and this is mine. Which is yours?

The Snowman - 1982

I was going to save this post for the first snow of the season, but I decided I couldn't wait. I want to kick of my month of Christmas themed childhood classics with one of my favorite Christmas films of all time is "The Snowman".



My grandma had a copy of this on VHS, which she had taped off the TV. It's a movie that I associate a lot with being at her house in the winter time. I think that this movie was what cemented my love of narratives without words. I'm always amazed how much can be conveyed without dialogue. The music in this short is great, and sometimes makes me get a little emotional!

1:47: I was always bothered by this kid not wearing underwear.

The snowman party is def my favorite part, and the kilted jigging snowman is my favorite part of that!

I think this movie qualifies as pure, concentrated holiday nostalgia. Yeah!

EDIT: since this video seems to be permanently out of order, here's the show on youtube. This version even starts with a weird introduction with David Bowie. Knowing that this was what happened to him as a child explains a lot, actually.

Her heart grew 3 sizes today!

Some of you may have heard me talking about a fairly infamous volunteer at a certain site I go to to distribute groceries. She's a rather old, fragile looking lady named Trudy, who (to quote a seasoned volunteer) "ain't happy if she ain't bitchin'."

Last month, Trudy gave me the business, so to speak, when I attempted to take a finished bag off the assembly line and put it on the table for the completed bags. She blustered over in her signature purple wind pants and got in my face, screaming that I "had to put the bag right back where it was this instant". Basically, Trudy was/is so controlling, that they had to give her one thing to have complete control over, or she'd try to make herself queen of the brown bag. That thing is the monthly newsletters, and when she caught me putting a newsletter in a bag for her, It was like I tried to steal her livelihood.

I found out later that she thought I was a stupid high school-er who didn't know anything, which fueled her lashing out. Weird!

So needless to say, we didn't get off on the best foot. Getting screeched at in the face will do that to a first impression. I also noticed that the other volunteers give Trudy and her newsletters a good 5 foot berth while she works on folding them.

Then today, almost everybody was surprised and impressed when Trudy asked for help with her precious paper work. It turns out that they were putting Christmas cards in with each newsletter, and she needed help folding the cards into the creased "Brown Bag Beats."

The cards were really nice, each one different, blank inside with matching envelopes. It was the gift of being able to wish somebody else a Merry Christmas. I mentioned to the site coordinator how nice I thought it was that they were giving out these cards.

"Oh, you know that was all Trudy's idea. We had been doing it the last five years or so, and I only just found last month that she had been buying all the cards for the Brown Bag out of her own pocket."

I suddenly became aware that the reason Trudy wears those purple wind pants every month wasn't just because they were her signature look, it was also because they were her only pair of pants.

It really made me see another side of this cantankerous old biddie. She bought everybody in town who needed these free groceries a Christmas card. In my eyes, it was like she went through the Grinch's heart x-ray machine.

I guess it was a lesson on open-mindedness and the duality of nature. No doubt Trudy will be back to her newsletter dictatorship in January, but it was nice to see her caring side and Christmas cheer.

I meet such weird people doing this job....

Christmas Cat Scarf

Remember how I wanted to make a kitty scarf for my bro in law? Well, I finally found a chart that didn't remind me of road kill

I slightly modified the pattern, as these kitties used to sit over cross bones. I guess I felt like that piratey stuff is kind of played out... I was very very proud of this, as it is my first ever project with two colors!

Like many of the skills in knitting, colorwork seems a lot harder and more intimidating than it actually is in practice. Though, that's not quite true. I should say that colorwork in the style that I used (Intarsia) is not really as hard as it seems.

I got the basic start of the method from this video, once again supplied by the Judy ("knitter to the stars")



The real challenging method to this style of knitting is that you constantly need to be twisting the yarns in certain ways to avoid forming holes in the work. I found this page to be an indispensable resource.

While I'm really proud of how my colorwork came out, there were some other aspects of this project that I wasn't thrilled with. Firstly, my stockinette totally curled like wallpaper. NO matter what I did, I couldn't stop the scarf from rolling into a tube.

This is my fault mostly. I knit with a lot of tension in my string, as you can see from how the cat face pulls and puckers the stitches around it. I read that this happens sometimes to stockinette when you knit too tightly, but I didn't really restrain myself. I kind of like pulling the string taut and snug around the needle, it's satisfying! I read though that if you do a garter stitch along the edge of your flat projects it helps deter it. Good to know for next time I suppose.

I also kind of feel that the quality of the yarn I used may have encouraged the rolling. Not that Vannas Choice isn't wonderful. But I recently started following the blog Presents Knits, and the girl puts up all these gorgeous pictures of these hand-dyed and homespun yarns that are to die for. It really makes me want to branch out a little, go somewhere with a better yarn selection, and pick out something really beautiful and unique.

The other thing to know about Intarsia colorwork, is that it is not reversible.

I tried to weave the back to reduce the risk of it catching on things, but as you can see, it's still pretty messy back here. That's why I think this style would be better for stuff like socks and hats, where the tangley stuff can be hidden. If I wanted to make this baby reversible, I'd have to master a technique that I would place solidly in the expert knitters only category, double stranded double knitting.



I wonder how long 'til I'm brave enough to try this!

Snowball Mice

I made these little mice to give as Christmas presents to Nevaeh and Grace, who are the young daughters of women who work in my office. I made them from this pattern. I think the reason mine look so different from the very very cute gray mouse the original designer made was because I used larger needles. I think this caused their faces to lose a little definition. It's also kind of a no no in stuffed animal making, because it leads to little holes the stuffing can peak out of. But since these guys are white, you can't really tell.

I made the one on the left second, and it definitely came out 500x better than the first one on the right. I got a better feel for the shape of the mouse, and I also really improved at embroidering eyes. The one on the left also could stand up by itself, the one on the right could not. I guess it goes to show that practice does lead to improvement. Its too bad I had to give one of the girls a buddy who wasn't quite as sharp looking. They kind of remind me of Pinky and the Brain.

My favorite part of making these guys was doing the tails. They're called Icords, and are really handy for all sorts of things; zipper pulls, handles for bags, or even the tail spines on a stegosaurus. They're fun to make, because you get to slide your stitches to one end of the double pointed needle and knit them in the same direction over and over again.

Take it away, Judy!

The Night Before Christmas - 1933

Merry Christmas Eve everybody. If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you're having a nice day too.

Enjoy this cartoon from the good old days, when people put literal candles on their trees then sprayed them with highly flammable fake snow. This one truly captures the enduring creepiness of an old fashioned Santa Claus.

I had never seen this original version of this cartoon before. I had only seen a later repackaging of it, where all the seedy racial humor (3:14 and 7:16) and the puppies (7:35) had been removed. It's weird to know that this stuff was in there, and that I never knew it.



I hope you all have a very fun and festive holiday weekend. :)

Christmas Eve on Sesame St. - 1978

Christmas Eve on Sesame St. is my favorite Christmas special. Growing up, I can't remember a year when we didn't watch it. I've grown kind of emotionally attached to it, as it brings strong memories and feelings of gearing up for the excitement of Christmas time.

The music in this special is excellent. My favorite song is "True Blue Miracle" The song is especially poignant now, since the woman who sings the first solo, Alaina Reed-Amini has passed away from cancer this week. It's a really good song, and she sang it beautifully.



I've always thought that Bob was a really cool guy. He's a pretty famous Irish Tenor, and known as Bobu Magurasu in Japan...

The clip below is for part one. Watch it if you want to see Bert and Ernie have some PDA, A Muppet Pair skating number to the tune of Feliz Navidad, and Oscar the grouch flying through walls like a wrecking ball.

Santa's Land Oddity

So I was reading this great article on the Roadside America website about Santa's Land in Putney VT. This place is right up the road from my Grandma's summer place in Leyden MA, so I visited a few times through my childhood. The story really encompasses the charming weirdness of the place, including the spray-foam Xanadu house, which I always thought was there to make the elves and reindeer feel more like they were in their native arctic climate:
"We walk up the hill to the quiet of Santa's House, and can see red legs through the doorway. Santa sits, motionless. We assume he's a stuffed dummy. Then a truck klaxon echoes through the woods -- the over-the-top horn for the tiny Alpine Train -- and Santa jerks to life.
"Ho ho," he says groggily. "You caught Santa napping." The next words out of his mouth startle us even more than finding him asleep. "You look like prosperous gentlemen. Would you like to buy Santa's Land?""
Fortunately, somebody did buy Santa's Land in 2004, and apparently made a lot of really positive improvements to it. I'm really glad to hear it, as these small, independently owned attractions are as awesome as they are increasingly hard to come by.
The weird thing about this Santa's Land article though, was the discussion of a statue called "The Purple Plum Man".

The first thing that really comes to mind when you see this guy are the letters w, t, and f. He doesn't make any sense at all and looks like he came from a bad 50's space invader movie. The more I looked at this though, the more familiar it seemed. Then I remembered something...

When I went to Santa's Land w/ my bro in the 90's (I'm the nearly obscured head and shoulder by the belt buckle, he's the blondie baby) we posed for pictures with a fairly normal statue of the childhood icon Humpty Dumpty, pre-accident.

So my first reaction was, why in god's name would you paint a regular nursery rhyme character to look like that? It seemed like a really bad choice. But then the plot thickened!

Behold, Purple Plum Man in his native habitat, circa 1985. So. Either between 1985 and 2005 Purple Plum Man was temporarily painted to look like Mr. Dumpty, and eventually that was decided to be a bad call, or Santa's Land, for whatever reason, purchased two Humpty Dumpty statues and had to figure out what to do with the second one.
And the more I look at the pictures, the more the latter seems true. Purple Plum man perches on pot or sack of some kind, while Humpty opts for the more traditional wall. Also, Humpty has a more defined belt buckle.

Why two Humpty statues in the first place? And why try to cover up the truth with this ridiculous Plum man ruse? We may never truly know...

Old Fashioned Christmas Play

I have this book, I bought at a church sale called "The Complete Christmas Book." It was published in 1958, and is full of recipes, decorating tips, and holiday stories that really belong back in that decade. One chapter in the book is devoted to short Christmas plays. You know, just in case you want to invite a bunch of your friends over and do a little show for them or something. I dunno.

Anyways, one of the plays is basically just a recitation of "The night before Christmas." Except, at the end of each line is a zany, "humorous" substitution that the crowd you're doing this show for is supposed to be prompted to shout out.

The funny thing about this play is that 50% of these joke lines make ancient references to products and slogans that I don't think have existed for 50 years. The other were just bizarre and weird. I put the best quotes below:

"The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums...made them drool on their pillow. And mama in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled our brains...by visiting a psychologist"

"With what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh...with hydromatic drive. With a little old driver so lively and quick that I knew at a moment it...was the Fuller Brush man"

"And he looked like a peddler...In the (local) grocery emporium. His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry. His cheeks were like roses...But not so expensive!"

"He had a broad face and a round little belly that shook when he laughed...Like a television picture! And I laughed when I saw him...my wool underwear tickled me"

Donald's Snow Fight - 1942

Continuing with cartoons that put you in the Christmas Spirit! Because nothing makes a yuletide gay like Donald Duck being a big ol' a hole to his nephews. Huey Dewey and Louie don't take d-bag Donald's harassment lying down, and soon they're locked in an all out snow war, quite befitting of the year this cartoon was made. Plus, this clip doubles as a primer for those Norwegian lessons you always wanted to take!



1. I love Donald's Coat. How long until those hairy things become hipsterized?

2. Those people @ 2:40 must have been making out in the park like, all night! Hawt.

3. I love that Donald yells "That's unconstitutional!" in the middle of the fight. I also love the Norsk word for Unconstitutional: grunnlovsstridig.

4. I've always found the part at 5:20 where he sneezes very disturbing. It's like seeing his death mask!

Merry Christmas indeed!