oh. my. gah.

"How Clean is your House" is a British TV show about disgusting people and their squalid homes. Aggie and Kim are cleanliness experts who travel around England uncovering the unbelievable ways people can tolerate living. Kim gets the fun of teaching these animals how to clean up after them selves, while Aggie analyzes sample swabs to uncover what horrible diseases these people should have caught ages ago.

This episode features Corrine "the bird lady." Corrine allows her 11 pet parrots to fly freely around her home, because she loves them like children and can't cage them. I don't really think describing this will do it justice, I can only say you have to see it to believe it.

The whole thing actually seems like a Monty Python sketch. The woman is even creepily like those nasty mother characters that Terry Jones used to play in drag.

My favorite moments:

*Video 1. 1:19- When she rattles off the birds names. The best name award is a first place tie between "Robbie W." (no doubt an homage to the prolific Robbie Williams) and "Charlie Bubbles Bum Bum Bird".

*Video 1, 2:35- Aggie and Kim enter the home for the first time and are dive bombed by the birds. I'm pretty sure one of them is crying.



*Video 2, 2:35- Kim attempts to teach Corrine how to make a natural air freshener for her fridge. When realizing that scooping out a lemon and filling it with salt would be a tad harder than, say, sitting on your butt and allowing a bird to shit on you, she grimaces at the thought of laboring over it.

*Video 2, 3:12- SLUGS????

*Video 2, 6:03 - Corrine gets really into saying "worcester sauce".



- Right at the start, Considering the outcome of eating dinner in a room with 11 loose birds, Aggie comes to the logical conclusion.

- 0:33- After discussing the fact that this woman spends her whole day touching surface teeming with bird poo, Corrine admits to not washing her hands for 8 YEARS. She even gets defensive about the soap in the soap dish, and denies that the grimy soap remains are hers. "They were here when I moved in!" WHAT?

- 0:55 - Kim looses her patience.

-5:10 - Following up a year later. Annnnnnd The inevitable!